John, (Jay) Knowlton died Sept. 9th at home surrounded by family. After a long battle with cancer his big heart just gave out. He leaves his wife Joyce and 2 sons, Josh and Dan, whom he loved fiercely. His grandkids, Elodie, Coralie, Pierce and Carter meant the world to him. As sick as he was, he spent his last two months trying to move Josh into a new house, and built front steps for Dan in the August heat. He mowed our whole lawn the day before he went into the hospital. You couldn't stop him.

We have had so many well wishes, from family and friends across the country because, well, Jay was just a great guy. He helped everyone with everything, there wasn't anything he couldn't fix. When his nephew Dylan had a problem he would say, WWJD, "What would Jay do?" because Jay always found a solution. As the texts came in, the words I heard most from family and friends was that Jay was their role model. From nephews, to his brother-in-laws, his sons and even his Hawaii Navy drinking buddies! One of them said he showed them how to be a good family man and how to take care of friends, (and I thought they were just drinking beer!).

Jay's 25 year Navy career was an integral part of his identity. He took great pride in his service to his country and often wouldn't leave the house until we found his Vietnam Veteran hat.

Family was everything to Jay. He embraced our Piscopo, "Sunday Lunch Confusion" and Christmas traditions even more than we did, and he could always be found laughing in the kitchens, stirring a sauce or carving a turkey. He loved all of his nieces and nephews and I heard from many that he was their "favorite Uncle". Jay lost his brother Bruce, his dad Robert, and his brother-in-law Adam within the past 2 years, and he felt the loss deeply. His sisters Rebecca and Karen, and his brother Robbie were very close to Jay and they traversed the country from Wyoming, to Arizona, to Connecticut to share many joyous visits over the past few years. Special thanks to Rebecca who came out several times to help nurse Jay through his illness, I could not have done it without her. Also Rob and his wife, Jennifer, who helped smooth his passing.

He loved his golf buddies and Thursday nights would always start off with an afternoon of texts that were hilarious. These guys did not mollycoddle their friends, but the love shown toward Jay from them was enormous. Too many to name but you know who you are.

He also treasured his time at Richie's garage and spent hours helping?, hiding out? up there just so he could be with him. His lifelong friends Rich Tingle, Brian Fairchild, Robert Laffey, and Andy Mathewson were never far from his thoughts and he told countless tales of their misadventures. Jeff and JoJo gave us some of the best times of our lives and helped us reconnect to many Hawaii friends, Hawaii 80's forever! He also loved being with our cousin Harry who made it a point to call him regularly to check in.

Jay, my sister Nancy, and I called ourselves the three musketeers. We spent days together at our favorite place, Quonnie, in Rhode Island. He loved his kayak and would load it with fishing poles and tons of gear, (and of course a cooler of Budweiser!) and head out for a whole day of clamming and fishing. My fondest memory is of him paddling back in his kayak at sunset, totally at peace, a bulging bag of clams weighing down the bow.

Jay will be so sorely missed by so many, but he said to me a few days ago, "I've had a good life, we did so much and helped our kids get settled and that's enough." It wasn't enough, for any of us, but I learned from Jay that you do what you have to do and get through it one day at a time. Stoic, generous, and funny, love you man!

Services for Jay will be held privately.